The Perils of Imposed Timelines – and of Accepting, Acting and Avoiding
I was recently speaking with someone who expressed frustration over their lack of progress in the pursuit of a promotion at work.
The frustration focused on the fact that they had defined the path to promotion at the firm to be a couple of years. This person was approaching the two-year anniversary of employment and felt that the prospect of advancement was remote, at best. Their impatience was palpable – why were they not getting the promotion, title, and accompanying increase in pay “on time”?
You may have asked yourself these questions when confronted with the reality that your life or career are not progressing according “to plan” (whether it’s that promotion at work, a goal in your personal life or that educational program that is supposed be completed in a specific time frame) - if so, you are not alone. Oftentimes we struggle with an inability to keep pace with the expectations of achievement - whether those expectations are own or are set by others.
It's fine to set lofty expectations for ourselves – after all, we all need goals – it makes sense to attach our own, specific timelines to create a roadmap and to hold ourselves accountable. But what if that promotion you were hoping for – the one that you were convinced should happen within two years? It just might not – for a variety of reasons (many of which are outside of your control) – and, frustratingly, some of your peers may progress faster.
An important part of the struggle involves the necessity of conforming to established norms - some so ingrained in our society that we take them as given, as benchmarks of how we ought to measure our progress.
But we must ask ourselves, are these expectations our own?
This reveals a key challenge - the perils of adhering (or succumbing) to imposed timelines. The external calendar serves as a measure of progress – of expectations of where we should be at certain moments. What if the path to acquire and deploy skills necessary to perform “well” at work takes longer than what is considered “typical”?
In these situations, it is important to recognize our own circumstances – and be realistic about what we can control.
Among the things within our control are attitude and mindset in relation to the situation, our actions taken (and not taken) and our ability to “tune out” the surrounding noise. In this regard, consider adding these “Three ‘As’” to your toolbox to reframe/reset:
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Energy is often wasted when we resist reality – external factors, many of which are beyond our circle of control, can disrupt our plans and wishes. Rather than ruminate on how we would prefer things to be – accepting the way things are is a critical step to moving forward. Bad economy slowing the job market? Your organization facing headwinds that limits near term raises and promotions? These things can certainly impact your career trajectory – but are likely uncontrollable – it is better to accept that they exist and move on.
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We have control over our own actions – and doing nothing is a choice. Accepting the situation gives us the opportunity (note the reframe) to consider whether we are doing everything we can to put us in the most advantageous position. Are we maintaining our relevant and transferable skills? Have we solicited feedback on our contributions and value to the organization? Have we mapped all our options – even (especially) those that present uncomfortable paths forward (upskilling, job searching, etc.)? These are areas within our control – to act or not – and it is our responsibility to ensure that we do so.
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It’s been said that comparison is the thief of joy – and this is a relevant point – particularly when others may meet with success in a shorter time frame than what we experience. There truly is nothing more tempting than comparison. The truth is that others’ progress is the result of many things that are completely unrelated to that of our own. When we benchmark our own progress based on the speed with which others are moving, we may find ourselves “falling behind” – but are we really? Our path – its contours and duration - are a function of those external factors common to everyone – but also the result of things unique to ourselves – and thank goodness for that! There will be times when our path is shorter and easier than those of others - we want to benefit from those scenarios when they arise.
Why is all this important to consider? – because each of us is on their own path – and a “one size fits all” time frame just isn’t appropriate. While we all want to find our way – to be successful in our career, to lead fulfilling lives and to really matter – the reality is that sometimes we must put the stopwatch down, to identify our own work and direction and realize three things:
There are things outside of our control that can, and likely will, impact our progress toward our goal.
We must act (and take responsibility) for things that we can control.
We all have our own “work” to do – and sometimes it takes longer than we would like and longer than what others would judge as sufficient – but it is our own work, our own progress and our own journey. And the most exciting thing is – we get to define what that looks like.
