The Confidence-Competence Conundrum – Finding Your “Sweet Spot”
We have all been there – that feeling that you are not as “good” as others in the workplace…
We lack the skills, experience, or confidence to perform at a level that meets (or, hopefully, exceeds) the performance expectations of others. These concerns are the result of an imbalance on what some call the “confidence-competence matrix”. Given there is an interrelationship between both, it is important to recognize that one feeds the other – and vice versa. And we should view these as complementary rather than competitive or independent.
Fortunately, we can overcome this feeling if we take three necessary steps, Assess, Reframe, and Act. Ready to look closer?
The Imbalances
If we think about these two elements as if plotted on a graph, we would want to find ourselves “up and out” on both axes – or in an “upper right” quadrant – showing that we are high in competence (we have requisite skills and capabilities) while also being high in confidence (we are willing to employ these skills and competencies with an acknowledgement, rather than a significant fear, of possible setback/failure). So how might we define these imbalances? Here are some potential ways of looking at them:
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High Competence/Low Confidence – This is the classic case of one who has substantial capabilities, and often has many independent credentials (postgraduate degrees, professional certifications) to illustrate these competencies. Yet, high performing people can suffer from the recurring feeling that they are just not “good enough” and that they need to be better – eventually impostor syndrome sets in, and they feel unworthy – particularly in relation to their peers (see my earlier blog “The Perils of Timelines”).
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High Confidence/Low Competence – When in this situation, people either believe they possess skills, capabilities, and experiences that they lack or while recognizing they lack such skills, they believe they will “figure it out” – what we might call “fake it ‘til you make it”. This has both advantages and disadvantages – the confident individual will work to close their skills gap while “on the job,” aware of the pitfalls to be avoided - but there is also the potential that the individual will rely on imagined ability to make decisions.
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Low Confidence/Low Competence – What happens when one experiences self-doubt and the recognition that they have a skills gap? This can be most challenging and would require work to build both aspects simultaneously – again, given the complementary nature of the relationship.
Getting To The “Sweet Spot”
Those who have found a good balance between confidence and competence have truly found the “sweet spot” – confident in their abilities with the skills and experience to back it up. People often ask how one can move to this “upper right” quadrant on the chart/matrix. Of course, the answer is that it takes work – directed in the right area(s). But the good news is that you can do it!
Step 1 – Assess
It is impossible to map a path forward without first finding where we are. A candid assessment of your capabilities is a great place to start – and reveals the current situation. Here feedback is incredibly valuable. A trusted source – mentor, teacher, supervisor, friend, or colleague – can, hopefully, provide objective perspective of any gaps. Don’t wait for that next performance review – solicit feedback now and approach these conversations with and open and curious disposition. This can reveal whether there is an issue of competence or confidence- or both. We often are surprised that our concerns are based on deficiencies that exist only in our minds.
Step 2 – Reframe
A key action is to engage in a reframe – for example, our need to “fake it ‘til we make it” can be temporary – if we view our competence deficiency as a challenge to be overcome and to learn and gain more experience. It can be exciting to learn new skills and to flex those capabilities while simultaneously relieving the pressure to pretend we know it all. It can be daunting to reveal our need to learn more – and yet it is also a strong demonstration of curiosity and drive – two traits that others admire and value.
Similarly, we can recognize that we undervalue our capabilities – something that high achieving people do often – possibly because we are surrounded by other high achievers and competition can be fierce. A knee-jerk reaction to a feeling of inadequacy is to seek out more skills and credentials to compensate for our perceived disadvantages. However, if we pause and reflect, we may realize that we are not necessarily deficient in capability – but that we are less confident in showcasing those skills. One reframe is to see this “imposter syndrome” as a challenge – a project to work on (something high achievers love) rather than an existential career threat - and an opportunity to grow.
Lacking both confidence and competence presents a particular challenge – where reframing is a powerful tool. We can define the issue as specific to our present situation instead of a career (or life) defining problem. It is possible to approach the “work” with optimism that we have the power and ability to overcome the obstacle.
Step 3 – Act
We all know that understanding what needs to change is different than taking active steps to affect that change. It’s hard – and can be scary. But in order to move into the “sweet spot” we need to act. Hesitating? Here we can revert back to our network, those people who were involved in our initial assessment. Often, we are reticent to ask for help – whether due to embarrassment or simply fear that our request may be denied. If we want to maximize our confidence and competence, then we need to step out of our comfort zone. We must be open and curious – and be willing to rely on fellow travelers who have our best interests at heart. And importantly, these supporters must be good listeners – who can push us in the direction we want – while challenging us to take that first step…and the next.
Final Thoughts
Let’s face it – confronting those parts of our professional and personal lives that are of concern is hard. But it’s essential that we acknowledge that the relationship between our competence and confidence is always in flux – particularly as we get older and more advanced in our careers. Attention to these two factors only becomes more important. But if we approach this with an honest assessment, a willingness to reframe our view of the situation and apply an action-oriented mindset, we can bring these two elements into balance – and find our sweet spot.
